Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize