Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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