There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
