It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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