there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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