If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
