"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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