I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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