I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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