I am in a vortex of obligation.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
