hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
