Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
