YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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