No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
