girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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