Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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