Define "chronic" masturbator.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
