I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
