your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
