I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
