i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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