hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
