Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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