next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
