Are we in a gay sports bar?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
