I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
