I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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