i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
