Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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