My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
