craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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