After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
