Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
