Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
