Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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