if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
