i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
And then he peed in my hair
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