Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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