there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
