Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
