OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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