My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
