im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
