Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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