So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
