remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
