i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
