you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
