Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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