In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
