Fine. I'll sleep in my office
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
