I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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