look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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