My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
one might say we're banned from that church
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
