A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize