Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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