Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
