I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
