Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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