New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
