I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
a search helicopter?!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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